Dealing with love in the Work place

Published on 13/02/2010

By John Kariuki

When Cupid struck in the workplace a century ago, many bosses would bungle the fun. Often, the woman was forced to quit or take a transfer.

But as we celebrate this year’s Valentine’s Day, it is noteworthy that the rules of the game have changed.. Dealing with love in the workpace



There are more women now in the upper management ranks, and corporate romance is booming between them and men in positions of authority.

But the modern workplace, like the killing fields of the last century, is still largely unprepared or unwilling to establish love and romance guidelines.

So what do you do when love blossoms in the workplace? The following are some tips on coping with such an eventuality:

Take control

Decide whether or not you will have a romantic relationship in the office when the early signals start coming. If you wait until you are involved, it will be too difficult to extricate yourself without drawing attention to you. And while we are at it, never have a relationship with a person to whom you report to directly. It always ends in disaster for both of you. If you really must have an office fling, move elsewhere.

Shun office romances

If you decide that you will not get involved in an office romance, make it clear to the other party. One way of warding off unwarranted attention is by getting more serious as they get more flirtatious. And if the situation starts getting out of hand, dismiss him or her dramatically, in front of the boss. To discourage a romantic relationship developing, start talking about a current boyfriend or girlfriend, a spouse or an ex — even if they are all imaginary.

Outsource lovers

HR experts suggest that if you must have a relationship with someone in your company, then he or she should in a different unit or department, lest he or she influences your output and overall perception of the job. Do not have an affair with a married colleague.

Keep it quiet

Your supervisor or boss may not like the relationship, and may begin finding fault with your work. Chances are that he or she might feel that the affair is taking the place of work, and they are trying to put this across to you. When in love, people feel great. Unfortunately, your colleagues will not be blind to this fact, and may find your happiness offensive. Consider keeping your relationship secret until you see how serious it is going to be.

minimise disruption

Even if you have an office romance, make sure that the corporation sees you putting in quality time in your work. Don’t leave a trail of your love antics everywhere. Resist all temptations of wandering the workplace just to get a glimpse of your lover.

Finally both men and women should understand that there are two elements to career success. One is your actual performance and the other is how you are perceived. A flirtatious person who is not having an affair may incur harsher judgment than a discreet operator who is quietly dating nearly every warm blooded person in sight. Be totally professional at all times. .